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Me time

Jealous, but in a good way

manuelita otero

There’s a moment in life when you realize it’s time to face the issues that you’ve been trying to avoid for years.  That happened to me this year as I finally accepted that envy is one of those things that’s been hanging around longer than it should.  And in a way I knew it, but I wanted to delay it for as long as I could. Who wants to accept that they have issues with jealousy and envy?

I think one of the reasons I didn’t feel the urgency to deal with this is that since I was a little girl I’ve heard things like: “I am so happy for you, I am envious” or “I’m so jealous of you, but in a good way.” There’s a mixed message where envy could be good or it could be bad, so if we try hard enough we could always categorize our envy as the good kind and go on our merry way.

But I noticed that wanting what others have isn’t right because I end up with a sense of emptiness and nothing good can come from that.  I’m ready to let go of the things that are taking away and stealing from my life, and I want to share something I decided to do once I realized my issue. These simple ideas have brought peace in my life, and as I do them often I’m noticing a change in my attitude and my joy:

1.  I made a list of all the people that I envy now or that I have envied in the past, even if I didn’t think about them often.  I wrote their name and what I wished I had that they have. (I am almost sure that we all have our own list hidden deep inside)

2.  Each day I take some time to be grateful for what I have, what I’ve accomplished and what makes me happy related to the areas I wrote in the list above.

3.  I think and write ways I could achieve the things I wish I had.

4.  Finally, through faith I ask for blessings for the people that for some reason I have felt envy, believing with all my heart that good things will happen in their life, and I also ask God to guide me so I can improve what I need to improve. 

I’m not telling you to do the same, since I don’t even know if envy is an issue you need to deal with. All I want is to invite you to think about those things that you may be avoiding. Give yourself some time to deal with those recurrent thoughts that don´t do you any good and that with time, become big, important matters. Then, ask yourself how can you change them into something that helps have a better life. After all, who doesn´t want to live a good life.